


Coffee and cinnamon sugar

by Morethancupcake



Series: Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chef Benny, Developing Friendships, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Oblivious, Past Domestic Violence, Pining, Post-Break Up, Protective Benny, Slow Romance, Writer Castiel, fight, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 20:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12825198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: "Benny doesn't believe in white lies. He doesn't need to sugar coat things. He really believes in Dean. He believes his friend will, in the end, do the tight thing and apologize. Go to therapy, maybe."Dean disappears during the night and Castiel is left behind at Bobby's, trying to figure out his new life.





	Coffee and cinnamon sugar

**Author's Note:**

> This work was a commission ! Thank you so much for your trust, once again. I'm really sorry the flu got me so badly I had to delay it, I hope you'll like it !
> 
> Cross posted on Tumblr :
> 
>  http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/post/167880460874/coffee-and-cinnamon-sugar
> 
> Before you start to read a few things :
> 
> 1\. this is not a Destiel story, this will not have a Destiel happy end.( Dean is actually only mentioned)  
> 2\. the story starts with mentions of a fight where character A hits character B. If you're not strong enough to stomach it, please take care of yourself and pick another, fluffier story.  
> 3\. please remember English isn't my first language before you yell at me for all the typos :)

“He’ll come back you know ?”

“He will ?”

“You’ll see. He loves you. He’ll be back.”

 

Benny doesn't believe in white lies. He doesn't need to sugar coat things. He really believes in Dean. He believes his friend will, in the end, do the tight thing and apologize. Go to therapy, maybe. 

It doesn't seem right, somehow, to see the bruise on Castiel's face, and to know Dean is the one responsible. 

Castiel is still in shock, still looking like a little kid in his too big clothes, hair perpetually a mess, eyes wide studying everything and everyone around him.

Benny almost wants to take him by the hand, when they open the door, the smell of wood dust and wax a little too strong. If he’s honest with himself, he wants to take him by the hand and drag him to his own home, where he knows Castiel won’t be alone and hurting.

But he doesn’t.

“Internet is working. I checked.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

The tension between them is still there, but mostly on Castiel’s part.

Benny doesn’t mind, he knows he is responsible for the cold politeness between them. He's not proud of it.

 

Dean leaves during the night, after a fight they all could see brewing during the day. 

Castiel doesn't say anything, he doesn't offer any explanation for Dean's absence at the breakfast table, for the shouts they all could hear during the night, for the impressive black eye he's sporting.

Bobby is the one to ask, gentle almost, putting a cup of coffee in front of Castiel, and letting his hand ruffle the black hair.

“I sure hope that's not my boy who did that to you.” Castiel smiles, but stays silent. They are all spying on them, from the couch, pretending to watch a soap no one cares about. Sam looks lost, torn between the need to go to the kitchen, or to go and try to find his brother.

“I'm not going to stay, Bobby.” Castiel's voice is rough, and it breaks at the end. “I don't think it's right for me to stay here.”

“I'm not turning my back on you, now. That boy will do whatever he wants, but you're not a stranger in my house, son.”

 

Benny is the one who offers his uncle's cabin, far from the town, far from everything.

 

“You just need to call me, okay ?” He gestures down the little path covered in leaves and dirt. “The restaurant is down there. If you need anything, you just come down. I'll leave you a spare key, just in case.”

“That's very generous of you.”

Castiel looks smaller, close to him. They never sat that close, never were to spend time with each other. Benny still winces inside at the bruise, the dark circles, the sadness.

“Yeah, well. Sure I can't tempt you with my guest room ? Plenty of place, you know ?”

“Thank you, but I need to be alone, I guess.” Then softly, because Benny is still looking half ready to drive them back. “Really. Thank you.”

 

Castiel is the one who deals with everything. Calling their guests, first of all. Sam is flooded with calls, friends like Charlie, like Jo who were too shocked to ask just why. He comes to the restaurant for breakfast, and from the tiny table in the corner, he cancels flowers, venue, food.

“Nah. That's on the house.” Benny puts a plate in front of him, and after a second sits down with his own meal. 

“That's way too generous of you.” Castiel is smiling, still, except it's not his usual smile, eyes almost closed in delight. No, he looks exhausted, and he eats slowly, lost in his thoughts almost.

“How are you ?” The blue eyes study him briefly before going back to the plate. “Can't be good, doing all of this alone.”

“I've been alone a lot. I don't mind. It's easier not falling apart when you're all you have left.”

 

Benny remembers hating that, Castiel having no filter, saying exactly what was on his mind. Today he finds it refreshing, not to play games, not to pretend.

 

“Come back tomorrow.” Castiel is almost on the little path when Benny calls him from the back door. “Beef stew. You don't want to miss it.”

The smile he gets as an answer looks a little better.

 

Castiel is not the high maintenance man Benny thought he would be. He accommodates to his new life pretty quickly. Benny doesn't ask about his job, but guesses that's why Castiel shows up with his laptop everyday. If he's not at the restaurant, he's usually back at the cabin, writing or gallivanting around in the woods. On Friday, he usually hikes to the farmer's market nearby, and packs all his groceries in the old backpack Sam gave him.

If anything, he looks right where he's supposed to be, so at ease Benny doesn't want to bring up Dean anymore, doesn't want to ask.

 

They get into a routine of sort. 

 

The Castiel Benny discovers is nothing like the Castiel in his mind. He's chopping his own wood and doesn't mind sleeping next to the old stove. He cooks oatmeal for himself in the morning, and grates apples in it.

Benny doesn't want to notice, he doesn't want to see Castiel's hands, a writer's hands, getting red and dry, handling utensils in that tiny kitchen he grew up in.

“I hope you don't mind. I wasn't expecting anyone.” Castiel makes them coffee from a tiny french press, and offers him a jar of brown sugar infused with a vanilla pod. 

“I should've called. But I was afraid you would get snowed in, and I think that heating system needs a little helpt to start.”

“That's nice of you. I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine.”

“Sure you'll say that if everything freezes during the night ?”

The oatmeal is nice, rich.It's so good Benny almost asks for the recipe, but stops himself out of pride.

“If it gets too uncomfortable, or if the power goes out, I promise I'll call you or Bobby.”

“Too damn stubborn.” 

 

Sam tries to visit. They both walk down the little path and eat with Benny, they talk about the snow, Castiel's deadlines and Sam's fancy new job. Benny likes it, it's soothing, very few customers, his friends sitting in a corner drinking tea.

It takes him by surprise to think about Castiel and to feel nothing but peace. 

 

“Sam feels guilty.” Castiel stays late, late enough Sam doesn't walk back with him, but decides to walk back to Bobby's instead. “It's hard having him at the cabin. He wants me to move in with him, he wants to repair what Dean broke.”

It's the first time Castiel mentions the other man. Benny keeps on cleaning, and doesn't offer an answer.

“And I get how awful it must feel. I get it, but... I don't want his pity. I just want my friend back, I want us to watch movies and talk about it till dawn. I want bad pizza and beers on his couch. But that's not what it's going to be. He tries to tell me about John, and their childhood, as if it excuses everything.”

“You should think about moving.” Castiel looks hurt for a second, so Benny has to add : “That cabin isn't made for winter. At the end of the month, it'll start being too cold for you. I don't mind you leaving your stuff, and coming back in March, but you have to pick a place to stay until then.”

Castiel looks almost relieved, and he hides it well behind his glass.

 

Life without Castiel is dull. Boring. 

It's for the best, Benny knows, because Bobby has, after all, a few rooms left, and he knows Castiel enjoys life at the old house.

He tells himself it's to help them out, when he packs up enough to feed a small army and drives there every night. He tells himself it's just to check if everything is alright, if Castiel isn't depressed, being back where all this mess started.

 

“You don't need to check on me, Benny. I'm fine, really.”

Castiel eats slowly, fingers holding the chicken bone gently. He looks gracious in everything, Benny can't help but notice. 

“Maybe I didn't want to be alone. Ever thought about that ?”

 

Bobby shushes them, so he can concentrate on the show Castiel put on.

 

“Bobby wants to do Christmas, this year.” 

Sam drags him to the mall, it's almost an hour trip, back and forth, but Benny finds himself not minding so much. He makes lists on his phone, recipe he wants to try, food he thinks Castiel would enjoy.

“Yeah ? No news from your brother ?”

“No. Not really.” A sigh. “Well that's not true. He sends me a text. He wanted to know if Castiel was okay.”

“And what did you say ?”

“Yes, no thanks to him.” Benny has to snort. It makes Sam smile. “I was really pissed. He ignored my calls after. Asshole.”

“Well at least he's thinking.”

Sam is silent for the rest of the trip. They're just out of the parking lot when he asks :

“Do you think he'll come back ?”

“Of course.” He thinks about Castiel, about the weeks it took for his eye to heal. “Not sure it'll be for the best, but yeah. He will.”

 

The dinner is small, but a fun affair. Bobby loves to have people in the old house, he actually bullies them all into a giant sleepover, and it's nice, to close the restaurant and to let himself just be.

He tries to cook with three people dead set on helping him and ruining everything, he helps Sam moving all the old furnitures away, while Castiel tackles the old books and the dusting.

The place looks amazing when they finally sit down, and eat.

It almost feels like family.

 

He doesn't remember the last time he felt that good, but he knows it has to do with Castiel's smile, broad and happy.

 

“You need to be careful, son.” Bobby walks with him in the morning, to help his joints he says. That's a lie, they both know it, but he lets it slide.

The grass is crackling under their boots, the air crisp. 

“Dean will come back. That's what the boy do, always. Comes back to clean up his messes, always too late, never on time.”

“What's that to do with me ?”

“I see the way you look at that boy. The way you smile around him. That's dangerous.”

He doesn't find enough courage to lie about it. 

“That's the kind of things that can end up in tears, or blood. You don't do that to a brother. That's not right.”

“He's not right for Castiel, either.” He remembers Andrea's shifts at the hospital, the stories about abuse, and hurt. It hurts to think of Dean that way. It's hard to imagine their fight, to picture him raising his fist.

“Maybe. Maybe you would be better.” Bobby plays with the little piece of licorice in his mouth. “But just be careful. Don't go there not knowing Dean will come back, eventually.”

 

He blames the snow. He blames the cold. He blames the kids running around on Sunday, waking him up so damn early.

Mostly, he blames himself.

 

He doesn't leave the kitchen, when Castiel sits at the bar. He doesn't smile and takes his break with him. He eats standing up it the kitchen, hiding.

 

If Castiel notices, he doesn't mention it. He orders and sits alone, writing in his notebook, and answering messages on his phone.

Benny wonders, if Dean contacted him. If Castiel, after everything, sill loves him.

 

After a week of silence, he breaks and goes to Bobby's, feeling unsure of his welcome.

 

Castiel makes them pumpkin pancakes, and Benny stands in a corner with his coffee cup, a little nervous.

“Have I done anything to offend you ?” Castiel keeps his eyes on the stove, but his frown is back, and he looks petulant. “I keep searching, but I can't find anything. I know I'm not the best at reading people, so maybe you weren't avoiding me in the first place but...”

“I was. Avoiding you.”

“Well, at least that was correct.” The pancakes are piled on a little plate, broken at the edge. Benny wants to run his finger on the little dent, the same way he wants to always remember this morning watching Castiel, the way he wants to take him in his arms.

“I just needed to think.”

“I understand.” Castiel hands him the empty bowl, and keeps watching the stove, stubbornly avoiding his eyes. “Is that because Dean's message to Sam ? Are you afraid he'll be pissed at you for being nice to me ?”

“No.” It almost makes him laugh, because Dean's feelings are not Benny's priority, at the moment. “He might be jealous.”

“I think he lost that right when he left me to deal with the wedding and everything.”

“True.”

 

Castiel whips a quick frosting, so good Benny actually writes the recipe down between mouthful. 

“I'm glad you came.” Castiel drinks his tea slowly, both hands wrapped around his bowl. “I didn't want to be alone today.”

“Why's that ?”

“The wedding was yesterday. Supposedly.” Castiel smiles again, but he keeps his eyes on the window, and Benny sees how upset he is, how close to tears he is. “I want to get over it. I am over it. But...”

“We could go to the cabin. Chop some wood, get things ready and even stay here if it's not too cold ?”

Castiel nods a few times, and wipes his eyes on his sleeves.

“You need to finish your pancakes, first.”

 

“Do you know what you're doing ?” 

Sam comes to the restaurant late, late enough Benny closes while he's still eating, and tries to avoid any awkwardness.

“I don't. I just...”

“I don't care. Cas looks happy. You certainly look happier. But...”

“But what ? We're just hanging out. We're just friends.”

“Sure.” Sam finishes his soup, and starts again. “They are Dean and Cas, you know ? Always made for each other. What will you do when Dean comes back ?”

“I don't know !” Benny slams the door of the pantry, and almost hides behind his hands because he doesn't, he doesn't. “All I know is I'm good, when I'm with him. I'm in peace.”

“Take care of yourself, okay ? That's all I'm asking. Because I'm not sure they'll be gentle with you.”

 

Castiel is cleaning the front porch, when Benny arrives with donuts from the small bakery in town.

They both sit next to the stove, and Castiel licks the cinnamon sugar from his fingertips.

“What will you do, when Dean'll come back ?” he asks, because he has to.

“If.” Castiel looks at him a little surprised, and he bites into his donuts before finally answering. “If he comes back, I guess I'll have to talk to him.” He sighs, and takes another bite. “We'll need to talk about money, about how much cancelling so close costed us. I guess it'll be awkward, I might not spend that much time with Bobby. Why ?”

“If he comes back. I don't want to stop coming over. Or seeing you at the restaurant.” He feels clumsy, his words inadequate, and he takes a donut for himself, hiding behind his cup. 

“I'm glad.” Castiel nudges him with the top of his boot. “I really enjoy spending time with you, Benny. It would break my heart to see you leave.”

“It would ?”

They're on thin ice. He knows, because Castiel blushes at his surprise, and he busies himself with making another pot of tea.

“I know you love Dean. I know you never liked me before. I don't fool myself into thinking...”

“Stop right there.” Benny comes next to him, and waits until Castiel finally looks into his eyes. “Dean is my friend. Probably one of my best friends. But... that doesn't change what I feel about you. That doesn't change what we have here.”

“And what do we have ?” That close, Castiel smells like the small eucalyptus soap Sam got them all for Christmas. He smells like laundry soap, and his wool cardigan. “What is it, Benny ?”

Castiel's lips are a little dry, but he taste like cinnamon when Benny finds in himself to cup the back of his head and to taste his bottom lip.

 

Castiel's hand, Benny finds, fits perfectly into his. They finish their treats in front of the stove, watching the snow outside. It's too cold to stay for the night, and Benny is almost sad, wishing they could just sleep under the heavy covers and forget about the rest of the world.

“I don't know who I am anymore. I just know I love who I am here, with you.”

Benny kisses the bridge of his nose.

“I love him too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! I hope you liked it ! If so, please consider leaving me kudos and comments ? It means a lot !
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you're having a fantastic November, please remember to drink regularly and to stretch from time to time !


End file.
